Dear Squirrels,
Sorry you found nothing edible in that pot of petunias you dup up yesterday. Such a waste of effort even now as the petunia season is drawing to a close. Perhaps you did not notice that the petunia was still flowering nicely. And the management would like to point out that you found nothing in that pot the day before yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that. Without doubt the digging is easy because the potting soil is so much nicer than our clay laden midwestern soil, but the ease of effort does little to enhance your rate of success. Clearly such futile foraging behavior is not diminishing your Darwinian fitness or the stupid-pot-digging genes and this greatly saddens us because you have not proven to be quick learners. So try to understand our feelings about this. After all, weren't we nice enough to give you enough squash seeds to choke a horse? And yet, you still felt compelled to dig up the pot of petunias, again. In the future we may have to resort to tiny land mines or adopt greyhound or get some recipes for squirrel stew. We hope you understand it's nothing personal.
The Management.![]()
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Sorry you found nothing edible in that pot of petunias you dup up yesterday. Such a waste of effort even now as the petunia season is drawing to a close. Perhaps you did not notice that the petunia was still flowering nicely. And the management would like to point out that you found nothing in that pot the day before yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that. Without doubt the digging is easy because the potting soil is so much nicer than our clay laden midwestern soil, but the ease of effort does little to enhance your rate of success. Clearly such futile foraging behavior is not diminishing your Darwinian fitness or the stupid-pot-digging genes and this greatly saddens us because you have not proven to be quick learners. So try to understand our feelings about this. After all, weren't we nice enough to give you enough squash seeds to choke a horse? And yet, you still felt compelled to dig up the pot of petunias, again. In the future we may have to resort to tiny land mines or adopt greyhound or get some recipes for squirrel stew. We hope you understand it's nothing personal.
The Management.
